In 2008, Whitney Thomson became the first “plus size model” winner of America’s Next Top Model. In the ten years that America’s Next Top Model has been airing there was only been three contestants. Throughout the competition the other girls on the show constantly told Whitney that she should drop out of the competition because America’s Next Top Model will never have a “plus size model”. Whitney never let the negative attitude get her down. She was proud that she was a Southern girl who had hips, breasts, and an ass. Whitney had many challenges when it came to picking out clothes for photo shoots. When models try on clothes for their clients many will have experimental dresses normally size two. Even for a normal model a size two is too skinny. While I was watching the show she was the only girl who looked real and healthy. She was not a stick figure. She was what a real woman is supposed to look like. It is a good thing that she did not give up on her dream, on becoming America’s Next Top Model, because any other person could have developed an eating disorder. I could not image what it would feel like to have judges as well as important people in the industry constantly telling you that you’re too big to be a model. Hopefully in a couple of years the industry will change and a size two will not be the norm.
When Tyra Banks announced that she was the winner she had to correct her by saying that she is not a “plus size model” the correct term is “full figure model”. I still do not understand the difference. Plus size models are women who are size 12 and higher. Then what are “full figure model” girls who look like real women? All models should look like the rest of society. The average built of a model is to be 5’8 and weigh anywhere from 108-125 which is considered unhealthy. If you look on the Body Mass Index (BMI) a person who is 5’8 is supposed to weight 125-138. That is a large difference in weight. Twenty pounds under the BMI scale is borderline anorexic. I would love to become a model even though I know that they would not accept me. I not 5’8 or 118, anymore, I am 5’3 and 138. Probably in the fashion world I would be considered over weight. It is unfortunately that there is no middle ground it is either a person is too “fat” or too “skinny”.
Even famous supermodels like Tyra Banks are even targeted by the media because of her weight. Last year she was photographed on a public beach and the tabloids claimed that she was “fat”. How could these people believe that 160 pounds is fat? On her talk show she told her audience that she was proud of her body. On her talk show she will present herself as more human and life like, while on America’s Next Top Model she still acts like she is still the first black woman to appear on Sports Illustrated. On the talk show she took off all her makeup and became homeless for a day. While on Top Model she always looks and acts perfect. She told one contestant that she had to watch what she was eating when she gained some weight throughout the competition. Tyra told this girl that she has been in the industry long enough were she could eat whatever she wants. When a photo is taken of her, the photo would have to be touched up, so that it is presentable to appear on the cover of a magazine.
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This past week we watched the documentary “Thin” and it was difficult to watch. This movie was a look into an eating disorder treatment center in Florida. Women and girls from all lifestyles are patients here. The rules of the center were simple weighing multiple times a day, no sneaking food out of the dinning hall, daily supplements, group and individual therapy, and surprise room checks. While I was watching, the movie there was a girl who was receiving treatment only because her mother was forcing her. While she was in group therapy, she told the group that she did not want to be there and that she would rather die so that she could be thin. This hit me hard because here I am complaining about my weight and I am healthy. This girl was not even 100 pounds, complain that she has a double chin, and she did not care about her life. I was crying for her as well as myself. At the end of the movie it was not shocking that once the women were discharged many would relapse once they returned home. While others like Polly eventually committed suicide. Eating disorders are silent killers for many men and women of any age or nationality.
I myself have been struggling with my own inner demons due to my weight. There was one part of the movie where I ran out of the room and into the women’s bathroom to cry my eyes out. Since we have been learning about eating disorders, it has caused me to stop and think about my own body image. I am still not happy that I weight 140 and not the 118, I used to, while all I was thinking to myself was I WANT TO BE THIN!! I would start to look at myself in the mirror and all I could see is a belly. I could not stand it that none of my pants could fit or even if they could fit all I could see was a large Buddha belly that was not there before. Everyone round noticed that I was spiraling down into a massive depression. I was even saying thing I would never had said in a million years “Do you know how many calories are in that”. That is not me at all. I am that one girl who loves to go with friends to a buffet and out eat everyone and when we all go to the movies I want my popcorn swimming in butter. There was something seriously wrong with me. If I let it go any further, I could have developed an eating disorder.
I could now see how powerful an eating disorder is. I was having unhealthy thoughts about eating and food for a week, while the girls in the movie had been dealing with it their whole lives. There were girls who had to get on a scale backwards so that they would not see their weight. Counting every calories and fat condense during each meal. Finally, one girl was told that she had to leave the treatment center, the shock and the stress from that news resulting to her old habits of purging.
At least one good thing happened from watching this movie the unhealthy thoughts are gone. I do not want to live everyday counting calories and killing myself inside. I want to be able to eat whatever food I want, with limitations of course, without worrying that I will gain one or two pounds. Do I still want to be 118? Yes, I do. I will never kill myself over a number.
It was interesting to listen to Jill Malolepsy’s story and struggle with an eating disorder. I was able to connect with a couple of Jill’s stories about doctor visits. It still bothers me that many doctors still use the BMI chart to see whether you are anorexic or over weight. I cannot stand that the BMI chart has not been updated in years. The BMI does not even account for heredity, ethnicity, or gender. I was also shocked at all stories about her child. I could not believe that perfect stranger went up to Jill and told her that she had a fat baby. I can only image how she would have reacted if she had relapsed. I have a cousin, who has been battling with anorexic and bulimia, and she just had a baby. While she was pregnant my uncle and aunt monitored her food intake to make sure she did not lose the baby. Now that the baby is born she does not want to feed her daughter as much food because she does not want the baby to get FAT. Babies cannot move and they do have fat, that is why it is called baby fat.
My weight! It has always been a touchy subject with me because almost every doctor has tried to put me in the anorexic category. Even though the day before, I ate a whole box of pizza by myself and they thought I was anorexic. It was difficult being a perfectly healthy normal teenage and having a nutritionist as well as my doctor asking me whether I had an eating disorder. The reason that my doctors worried about me was because I would not gain or lose any weight. He just did not understand that when I was in high school, as well as in college, I swam, kick-boxed, practiced martial arts, and did yoga and I remained 118 pounds. He also did not understand that all the women in my family are genetically thin. When I was born my mother was thirty-seven years old and one hundred – eight pounds.
When I turned 21 I started to have problems with my stomach and I started to throw up three to five times a week. I told my old doctor this; he did not believe me and wanted to send me to a nutritionist. At that point I could not stand it anymore so I switched doctors. I talked to my new doctor about my stomach problems and told her that I do not have an eating disorder. She took one look at me and squeezed my arm and said, “I know you’re not”. She ran every single test on me and diagnosed me with Acid Reflex. With proper diet and medication the acid reflex can be controlled, the only problem is I will have this disorder for the rest of my life and it will return. My doctor told me that when I have an episode I am basically bulimic and I cannot stop throwing up.
After reading the pro ana articles it made me sick. I understand that this is America and everyone can post whatever they want on the internet but pro ana website should not be able to give advice on how to make throwing up easier. I have a problem with girls and boys starving themselves so that they look like a Holocaust survivors and they think that it is sexy. It angers me that girls and boys are throwing up to lose weight and I throw up because there is a biological reason. There are even thinspiration videos which encourage girls to starve themselves because “Bones are Beautiful”.
