I have been in this sorority for over 4 years and I have had to rebuild friendships with different sisters.  This time I’m rebuilding a friendship with my ex-little.  The last time I was in Cleveland I saw her at a party and I said buy to her, asked her how she was doing, and gave her a hug.  The next day she contacted me telling me that it was good to see me and to say that she was sorry for everything.  It was so good to hear that from her, so I said that I was sorry too.  While we were talking we made a pact that we will never talk shit about each other and the most important step is that if either of us hears somebody talking shit about the other person they must stop the conversation immediately.  I have added her again to my tree and I promise that when the next pledge class ask me how many littles do I have.  I will say that I had 5 littles that pledged and 3 that are actual sisters.  I have made up with the president of the sorority and we are now good friends and hopefully the same thing will happen with her. HERE’S TO THE START OF A NEW FRIENDSHIP.  Watch and see what happens.

On Monday morning at 6:15 I was awoken by a text message. I looked at my phone and one of my friends text me letting me know that one of my friends tried to commit suicide. While she was talking to my friend that called me she was high, manic moods, and slitting her wrists. While she was talking to him on the phone she wanted him to help her hurt herself. She asked him to count to 3 and than she would continue to slit her wrist. I could not believe what I was hearing why would she be doing this I thought that she was getting clean. Hearing this hit me like a sack of bricks. If you have any suspicion that somebody is going to hurt themselves or other you are allowed to step in and call the police or 911. Once the police step in the person will be put into a 72 hour psychological evaluation. She was not sad or depressed but happy she was back to her old lovable self. I remember when I wanted to kill myself and how happy I appeared to other people but when I was alone I would slip into a deep dark depression where the idea of suicide would manifest. I feel guilty and a bad friend because I saw on both Friday and Saturday and she appeared fine. I ask all to pray for her because I want her to get better I don’t want her to die. After I got off the phone I closed my eyes that hoped that this conversation was a part of a horrible dream.  I call all the angels in the world to watch over her, make sure that she gets better. I don’t want to lose another person because of suicide.

Evey time I watch “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” it always make me happy and sad at the same time.  There are points in the movie that mirror my life.  I’m in love with a Greek man that loves me and is not afraid to show it.  Everyone that knows me and my boyfriend that we have not been happier in years.  It is weird that I would want to marry he but there are occasions where I don’t know if that is how he feels.  I would love to have a Greek wedding where I can dance, drink, eat, and break plats while saying OPHA.  I have pictured what my wedding be like for years.  I would walk down the isle with “In your eyes” and get married by water, when I don’t know if that will happen.  I’m proud of my Polish culture and at the same time I would do anything to be “Greek” he him.  I would be baptized in olive oil so that I could be Orthodox.  Although it makes my sad that I’m like this big huge secret to everyone except one of his cousins.  To his family I am a foreigner and that is sad to me.  At times I don’t know if his family would like me.  His mom reminds me of the dad in the movie I have been told that she would hate me because I’m not Greek.  I don’t know if I would ever be excepted by his family.  At times I don’t know what to do.

At times I want to scream with all the bull shit reality shows that are out.  Reality shows in this country is a joke.  I can’t stand all these shows that require the United States to vote for their favorite singer, dancer, model, and you get the point.  It is so sad that people will rather vote for reality shows then for their own president.  I don’t get how on American Ideal the judges have to pick out all people who get to go to Hollywood but then the public has to decide who goes on to the next leave.  Come on, American Idol is only good for the first couple of episode and then it is just a glorified karaoke contest.  I can’t stand it.  American Idol needs to be stopped.  The only person that made something of themselves is Kelly Clarkson and Clay Akin everyone else was a joke.  The same thing is true with the new show on Bravo “Make Me A Super Model” the models go through all the photos, makeup, and run way just to have three of the worst and the America gets to pick who gets to go home.  The judges are on all those shows should pick the best not the United States.  The judges on all these shows are experts and they should make the decision on who the best is.  I can’t stand it.